Monday, January 23, 2006
Siang ini, denger lagu itu lagiy...
Gue ulang berkali2, dan entah kenapa tiap intronya lagu ini masuk aja gue pasti langsung ngeliat keluar jendela. Inget persis rasanya, pas matahari sore terhalang gedung2 kantor lain, AC kantor lagiy dingin2nya, gue sendirian di ruangan gue, slalu mikirin hal2 yang sama........selalu hal2 yang sama. I can smell every scent, feel every moves, hear my heart beats, feel my tears fall.
Bukannya gue mu mendramatisir situasi, ato manjangin2 urusan. Tapi to took my heart might take a while, but to take it back might took forever. Jadi bingung ma keadaan gue, I'm all out but still standing tall........and proud. Susah de emang kalu badan terbuat dari gengsi ya, mu ngapain aja jadi bisa........soalnya fondasinya gengsi.
It's kinda hard for me to move around with the situation like so, there are even times when I feel estranged and neglected. For being treated like some queen or something like that, plus to someone with an egotrip like myself. Geez man.....I mean the ego is probably too much for one gender, apa jangan2 Nyokap gue pernah salah makan waktu hamilnya gue ya?
Get this, behind the curtain I've always told myself that its very human and its not like I have anything to lose anyway. Beside the pride, the other half of my brain yelled. But upfront I'm numb, couldnt feel anything but the ego banging my head over and over and over. Reminding myself not to cross the line, my line. While people can easily said things to one another, I cant. Yet, if feeling marks with a scar, I got it all over If pride is a building, mine must be the tallest and made with a grand design.
Kalu suatu hari dalam idup lo ada seseorang yang bilang kangen ma lo, you would spontaneously said you missed them too, rite? Well, not me I aint...... I'd stunned for a while, asking myself how come, and change the subject. Like its programmed with an on and off switch on it, all I hafta do is push. Not that I deny it, but I cant believe someone with actually miss me without a catch, see what I'm saying here?
What is it with me........
posted @ 1:26 PM
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